Once A Victim, Forever A Voice

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Ms. Toni has called Poe Mill home for 12 years. Her first impression of the neighborhood was that it was “kind of quiet and pretty friendly.” A place where neighbors greeted each other warmly and went about their day. She knew the area needed work, but the community spirit gave her hope. 

It’s true that Poe Mill is a neighborly place, overall. But because of some of the addiction issues we face on the West Side, we do see some crime on occasion. “Crime comes into the neighborhood and then leaves right back out,” Toni said, reflecting on how what she’s learned about the area’s struggles since moving in over a decade ago. 

On December 10th, 2019, everything changed for Ms. Toni. That day is forever etched into her memory. The night before, Toni was visiting with her daughter who lived on 3rd Ave. in Poe Mill. Toni lives on 4th, a little over a block away. When Toni got into her car to drive home that night, she realized that the engine had died. So she just walked home instead.

The next morning was misty and rainy, the kind of day that makes you want to stay in bed. But bills needed to be paid, and errands needed to be run, so Toni knew she needed to get up, walk back to her daughter’s house and jump-start the car. 

As Toni reached her daughter’s house, she noticed a Jeep passing by holding several young men. She now knows that one of them had a parent living in Poe Mill and that’s why they were in the neighborhood, but at the time all she knew was that she didn’t recognize the vehicle or its passengers. Something seemed off. However, there didn't seem to be a concrete reason to rush inside her daughter's home. 

But moments later, as she lifted the hood of her car, two of those young men had gotten out of the jeep, jumped over a nearby fence, and approached her from two different directions.

“They came and interrupted my whole life. My life hasn’t been the same since.”  

Ms. Toni standing in the spot where her life was forever changed. 3rd Ave. in Poe Mill. 

“They shot me in the stomach four times,” she said, recounting the attack that left her seriously injured. It appears the young men were after her purse, which they had seen her carrying as she walked down the street. 

Despite the shock and pain, Ms. Toni was somehow able to remain focused. Having a concealed weapons permit, Miss Toni was prepared to defend herself. After one of her assailants tried to wrestle her from behind and more shots were fired at her, she pulled out her gun and fired back in self-defense, causing her attackers to flee. Miracle of miracles, she remained standing the entire time. “I never hit the ground,” she recalls. The first of many miracles that surround the incident. 

“I was able to walk up the steps into my daughter’s house and across the living room,” she recalled. Once seated on the couch she instructed her daughter’s roommate to grab a towel. The roommate froze in panic, but a neighbor, a teenage boy named Immanuel, rushed over from across the street, into the house to help, getting towels and stopping the bleeding. Ms. Toni doesn’t think Immanual was there by accident. Rather, for Toni, he was another miracle, there to act as a testament to his name which means, “God with us.” 

The scene was chaotic. Everyone was trying to process what had happened. Yet, strangely, Ms. Toni remained aware, sitting up, and able to talk. 

Neighbors who heard the shots had called 911. When the emergency vehicles showed up, she walked herself to the ambulance, and stayed alert for the entire ride. When she saw that they had made it to the hospital she finally let herself rest, spending the next few days in her hospital bed. “I don’t remember much from those days, except waking up and seeing my daughter and my son,” she said. 

Her son reminded her that “she has always been a fighter,” and she was doing a good job fighting now, while she laid in the hospital. Then, a final miracle came to light, the bullets had not hit any vital organs and she was released to go home after only being hospitalized for one week. 

Through it all, Ms. Toni felt the presence of God guiding her. “At the end of the day, it was all God,” she reflected. “He intervened, he strengthened me, and he had me prepared.”

The ordeal ended up being much more than just a moment of survival for Ms. Toni—it was a revelation. It brought her closer to God, strengthening her faith and commitment to His plan. “I got closer to Him after that happened. He’s always been a part of my life. I used to go to church with my grandmother, and  now I’m on the right path, doing what He wants me to do,” she said.

Ms. Toni now views her life through the lens of divine purpose. “God revealed that I have a purpose: to do His will, to do what He asks of me,” she said. Her experiences with gun violence have transformed her into an advocate, speaking out against the dangers that plague communities like Poe Mill. She is involved in several non-profits and is starting her own which she plans to call “Applying Love.” Her story reminds us all that the tragedies we face don’t keep us from our purpose, they often clarify it. 

She spends most of her time these days serving and speaking, especially sharing her story, which has given her a platform to testify of God’s power and protection. She has come by and shared her testimony with us at Griggs during a Sunday morning service. 

“We may look like nobodies to some people because of where we live, but I’m here, and I’m an activist,”

Ms. Toni said, firmly making her case for Poe Mill’s hopeful future. 

When I asked her what she believed Poe Mill needed she said, “We need more police presence. The kind of police presence where they’re interacting with the kids and showing kindness to the homeless.” she said, calling for authorities to be engaged in the area proactively. 

She believes the neighborhood needs a community center, a place for people to gather, support one another, and have some fun - something she says Poe Mill is good at. 

We agree. Our hope at Griggs is to continue to be that community center,  especially while the neighborhood is without a more traditional one. 

Though she believes in and advocates for certain changes and reforms, Ms. Toni knows that the change Poe Mill needs starts from within. “We need to learn to take care of things at home. Once we take care of things at our own home, then we can take care of others,” she said. 

Her vision for Poe Mill is one of community togetherness and gospel-centered love. The kind of love Jesus taught us to share. 

With that kind of love coming down from above, planted, and growing in our hearts, she believes that the neighborhood can rebuild and become just as vibrant and prosperous as any other, despite the hardships its residents face.

“God is still here. He has never left us,” she says confidently, rejecting the notion that any hardships we face are because God is finished with us. She still has the hope she moved into the neighborhood with. 

“If he had left us, we wouldn’t be here,” she adds. I’ve heard many people say that, or something like it before. But there’s nothing quite as powerful as hearing Ms. Toni say it. 

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